Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Flooding and my experience saving Holland with my finger in the dam. Also a view into my brain during chaos.

Laying in bed this morning I was feeling guilty for not getting up and doing a work-out video or going for a walk before bed. I dawdle and stall and eventually get up about an hour before work (usually it's 2 hours). Get dressed and meander into the kitchen to make a healthy portion controlled breakfast to get back on track with my diet and discover a massive puddle of standing water stretching from the kitchen sink to the front door mat. Under the fridge and stove.
"Crap. Is it coming from the fridge? Wait the fridge is a big appliance I hope not!! But wait if it's the fridge it's probably just the water filter line, probably easy fix, that'd be better than the sink. Why do I think that'd be easier? I know nothing about refrigerators?"
Open the cabinet under the sink and discover, no it's the sink. But where and how? (Back story: we've had an ongoing issue with our drain leaking if I leave too much weight in either side, and I've gotten in the habit of not piling the sink full and never with water and stuff.) the sink is dry, the dishwasher was finished before bed and turned off/opened to air dry.
"How can it be dripping from up there? Gah my pants are soaked why is it so cluttered under here? It's not that cluttered and where else should I keep my stock pile of dish soap and sponges?"
Feeling thankful for clearing counter tops the night before I pull everything out from under the sink so I can assess.
I decide I think it's coming from the hot water line. Hubby comes and tells me how to turn off the water. "Just turn the knob, just like a faucet"
Ok
Whoa whoa that made it worse! It's definitely leaking from the hot water line! Right behind the knob. Hubby says to try to tighten it.
Entire effing tap breaks off like a not actually funny in real life hilarious sitcom segment and water is gushing out!
(This is where my Dutch boy with finger in the dam thoughts happened!)
I try to hold the water back while hubby (btw he's having a bad back/shoulder/neck week, so physically nearly useless, I say that with love) hobbles down stairs to the water filter room (long explanation, just realize it's downstairs in the shop) to turn the water off. Don't hurt yourself on the stairs I can sold the water but do hurry. The water pressure doesn't stop because there is something like 27 miles of pipe between him and I (really it's just downstairs and over a room) and that water has to come out before the water will stop coming. I can't hold it back but I try, occasionally failing which sprays water everywhere and damnit why didnt I take my Fitbit off? Please don't die my darling Fitbit. So I manage to get my Fitbit off with my teeth and holler to wake Ellie to get me a bucket, she wakes up scared (because I was yelling and telling her to help) and upset and useless. I realize although she knows how to dial 911 and knows our address let's hope there's never a medical emergency she has to wake up for, because she doesn't wake well. The water is getting hot (it takes a while for the water to heat up coming from the water heater down stairs) So I realize I can't hold it back until hubby brings me a bucket and oh duh a big mixing bowl is sort of in reach. Good job washing dishes last night self, and so much for the routine of putting dry dishes away as I make breakfast today. I use it to catch water and run to the bathroom to turn the bath tap on to see if that'll reduce the water going to the kitchen. Nope.
So I dump buckets(mixing bowls) of water into the sink repeatedly as the water gushed out. I'm only catching maybe half? Eventually the water slows to a dribble and I run down to get the shop vac. (Damnit in not wearing my Fitbit these steps don't count!) Which I know right where it is no problem! Crap I left the shop light on, go back and unlock door turn off light and shit door don't forget the keys, where is that vac? We last used it before Christmas when the pellet stove wasn't working and Mike was in the hospital and I had vertigo and damn that month was chaotic and hey look life is still chaotic (be grateful that no one is in hospital) found shop vac and lug it up stairs. I had asked Ellie (finally awake and functioning) to pull all the dirty towels from the laundry hampers and put them on the kitchen floor. (Feeling grateful for not keeping up on laundry this moment, might as well use dirty towels!) which she did.
The shop vac helped but not as quick as towels and the loud noise upset the kids. That was a waste of time finding it. I toss sopping wet towels out on the deck to deal with later.
Hubby calls his parents (they live on the same property/share a well) to let them know the water is off. Mom knows, she was in the shower and please can you bring water down because dads on the toilet as we speak with #2. Remember that Jimmy Fallon (or Is it Jimmy Kimmel? Fallon it's gotta be Fallon, is Jimmy Kimmel a person? It is I'm sure it is, weird that I never thought of both Jimmys til now) #hashtag joke about the kid who had to go #3? That was funny. (It was funnier when I read hubbys mind when I said #hashtag the other day.) Run them down a jug of water (grateful for being prepared for power outages because without power we have no water). Crap still not wearing my Fitbit say goodbye to those 300 steps.
Back up stairs, get most the water mopped up. Assign the job of hanging wet towels out on the clothes racks outside to dry because who knows if we will be able to wash them today and I don't want them getting too nasty.

Drip*

Ellie does a surprisingly good job and it keeps her and Penny out of my way. Clean out the corner beside the fridge and toss out 3 soaked boxes of Kleenex that I have been meaning to find a home for since bringing the case home from Costco a month ago when we were sick.
Clear top of fridge off, question: is my counter really not big enough to hold all the under sink contents and the top of fridge contents and the side of fridge stuff? No it isn't. Find items that can go on the coffee table.
Pull fridge out and holy crap have I ever swept under here in the last 6 years? and oh that's where that was!
Pull the drawer out from under the stove and am thankful for uneven floors because the water only goes part way under so don't have to move the stove to dry it out. Realize I haven't swept under it in forever either. Wiping up the random trash and stuff I cut my finger on broken glass but don't realize it.
Get the stove put back together and start pushing the fridge back and is that blood? What the hell-o my fingers bleeding. Can't wash my hand, no water, hubby tells me I need to clean it (because I'm not already thinking of the fact that I pulled a mouse trap (empty)from under the stove with the glass and now my finger will get infected with who knows what and they'll need to remove it and let's home I never need to flip people off again, and realize I never flip people off, so that won't be an issue. Ellie gets excited to see the bubbles and I remember I can just use peroxide. The cut is tiny and the peroxide is plenty to clean it. Gosh whoever thought to put peroxide in a spray bottle is genius, I remember filling the cap and dumping it on the wound and most would drop off and that was cumbersome and a waste. Bottle is nearly empty, add peroxide to my mental shopping list and laugh at myself for thinking I'll remember without writing it down and wonder if there's an Amazon Dash button for that and think probably not. Should I use a Doc McStuffins band-aid or Mickey Mouse? Ellie lets me know that the Goofy one didn't help her Owie feel better. Doc McStuffins it is. Has she gotten her adopted baby sibling yet? "Yes it's a girl!" Ellie tells me.
Take a break and pour cereal for breakfast and decide to ignore my diet because Corn Pops.
Clock into work 39 minutes late and realize had I just gotten up the 2 hours before work I wouldn't be late for work.

Hubby informs me he can't drive (can almost not use one arm due to bad neck/shoulder week) I need to take time off work to drive to get my cousin Jason of all trades who can plumb. (Is plumb a verb? It's gotta be! Plumb-ers do plumb-ing, they plumb. Decide my Dutch girl finger-in-the-pipe efforts have earned me a Dutch Brothers (drive through coffee).
Get a call from cousin he's home from work so clock out for lunch early and pick Dutch and him up and take him and hubby to Home Depot to get Teflon tape and some other plumb sounding words. Get Jason back and he spends a few minutes reattaching what I apparently didn't break it just came off. And test the water and it seems good now. Drive cousin home but offer to buy him lunch and get to the drive through and I don't have my ID so they can't accept my credit card luckily my bank atm is across the street. Get cash go back get food take cousin home and get back to work to finish my shift.
After work I spend time clearing off the counter, finding new temporary homes for under-sink dwellers for now. Make dinner wash dishes and fuuuuuu the leak is back. (Grateful I put a cookie sheet under the drip so I can easily see if it returned, it made it easy to hear.)
Very carefully turn off just the hot water, I'm certain the leak is only coming from the hot water line.
Dump/dry cookie sheet. Finish cleaning kitchen all but washing dishes. Enjoy the rest of my evening winding down.

Climb in to bed and decide to write this blog post and get part way in and hear a very loud *drip (grateful to live in a loft my bedroom living room and kitchen is all one long room). (Find the *drip above that's when I paused writing) Take a deep breath and pray to the water gods that I was either hearing things or something else dripped-
Gaaaahhh the cookie sheet is full and the drip I heard was from the cabinet to the floor.
Dump out cookie sheet and find the last few dirty towels in the laundry and mop it up. Very carefully turn off the cold water line too. Hubby suggests a bowl because the cookie sheet is so shallow but I remember the large short rubbermaid tote (think under bed box but a little deeper) the kids use for water play on the deck. Tuck that into place in the cabinet. Tuck myself into bed, finish this post.

Good night. Pray to the water gods for me.

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